The other day, my partner and I had a Bachelor/Bachelorette Beach Party at Ft Tilden (my favorite beach in New York City). We decided it would be fun to get together with a bunch of friends to celebrate our upcoming wedding. Yes, that’s right: I am getting married! In less than two short weeks! Hard to believe it’s almost here already, and…. hard to believe I’m getting married at all.
There was a time when I thought that getting married meant giving up my independence, giving in to what society expects me to do, and losing part of myself in sacrifice to someone else. Well, now I realize that is the opposite of what’s happening to me…
First of all, since Gabe (my fiance) and I started dating two and a half years ago, my life has become so much richer, more fun, more colorful, and just downright awesome. The ways in which we compliment each other blow my mind–we have just enough in common to get along really well, and we are just different enough to challenge and learn from each other too. Not to mention the love and respect we share for one another! I know that he supports me in everything I do, and I support him as well. Especially in the good stuff: creativity, self-expression, being a good person, being generous and loving, having fun–the list goes on and on.
This commitment we are making to each other is also selfish. By joining our lives and forming this beautiful union, we are promising to help each other grow and expand, sharing our gifts with the world, doing what we love while being our authentic selves. We’re collaborating in life, which makes everything easier because neither one of us has to do all the work alone anymore. Authenticity and vulnerability in life is true freedom, and I am so grateful for it.
At the beach, our friends thought it would be funny to bury us in the sand together; we have to get buried before we can get married. It was pretty fun, but there were a few seconds of clausterphobic panic in there, being covered by sand up to our ears! We both felt it, then before it got too bad everyone helped dig us back out again. Turns out it was just a fleeting feeling, just like my fear of losing myself/being buried in commitment. Sharing my life with someone doesn’t mean giving up freedom, it means gaining a freedom I’ve never experienced before– freedom in deep, profound love and vulnerability.
Now, I’m off to get married! I’ll be taking a break from SkinTome for a couple weeks to go get hitched, but will be back soon.
Thanks for all your love and support, dear readers.
[Photo by Kate Cunningham]